Comfy Couch Dweller Gifts

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

My soulmate

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"This is a man trap and some poor creature is caught in it now."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Big screen TV.

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

The Common Sutra.

Help! I've fallen in love and I can't get up! Cat alert system.

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"January 11. Still struggling with the novel. Chopped more firewood."

Carpet Cows

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

A slow-moving predator, the couch only needs to eat every few years.

'Why would you need GPS? Have you suddenly forgotten how to get from the couch to the refrigerator?'

"There's the remote!"

"Today's weather forecast, is very accurate."

Two Cats 'I just love curling up without a good book.'

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

'I don't know where the television remote is, you had it last.'

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'