Comedy Show Aficionados T-Shirts

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Dog Walking Services

Skiing.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Horror movies

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"That'll be five bucks."

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."