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"Oh, it's the comedian I like that's still scared to talk about her vagina."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"Next on animals after dark...Squirrels Gone Wild!"

TV and cleaner

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Skiing.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

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