Comedy Show Enthusiast Pillows

"Oh, it's the comedian I like that's still scared to talk about her vagina."

My client vigorously denies your charges. He says he has great respect for what makes you special. He knows that you like Amy Winehouse, watching The Office, secondhand clothes. You're reading off my Facebook page. He knows you're on Facebook. You're both off my friends list.

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"Next on animals after dark...Squirrels Gone Wild!"

TV and cleaner

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Police Feline Unit

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cariactures

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Selling lemon latt�