Comedian Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We heard you were dying in here."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

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