Comedian Enthusiast Mugs

"We heard you were dying in here."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Police Feline Unit

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Dog Walking Services

Faster, Georges, faster!

Skiing.

Selling lemon latt�