Comedy Kingpins Gifts

"That reminds me of a joke..."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

Will work for Food Network.

'I think it's past its sell-by date.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'That'll be the tenth time Columbus has visited the virgin islands this week.'

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, doing your job of course!'

Amy Winehouse

Worker doing impression from the end of Titanic.

'Man, I hate it when he goes crowd surfing.'

Whisk

'Granted, you're the boss at home, Doris, but around here I'm the boss, I really am!'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

'And do you, Rex, promise not to take sides?'

"Mia Farrow would find the time!"

"When we selected our keynote speaker, he had not yet been indicted for SEC violations."

'Well,there's why your refrigerator's having temperature problems ma'am. The door's got a badly worn seal.'

"He's the big dog."

Bowling.

'I don't hold grudges... that's why I have lawyers.'

'I have money, fame and power...but all it's done is made me happy.'

Two porters carry a king

"Like you, mom, I never waste leftover. Want some pizza slice, meatloaf hunk, chicken salad soup?"