Comedy Kingpin Gifts

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

Will work for Food Network.

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

'Sure, our expertise keeps ‘em here, but Mom's cookies get them through the door!'

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, doing your job of course!'

Worker doing impression from the end of Titanic.

Safety Pin

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

'Granted, you're the boss at home, Doris, but around here I'm the boss, I really am!'

Whisk

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

"Mia Farrow would find the time!"

"When we selected our keynote speaker, he had not yet been indicted for SEC violations."

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

'Well,there's why your refrigerator's having temperature problems ma'am. The door's got a badly worn seal.'

"He's the big dog."

"That reminds me of a joke..."

Bowling.

'I don't hold grudges... that's why I have lawyers.'

'I have money, fame and power...but all it's done is made me happy.'

Two porters carry a king

"Like you, mom, I never waste leftover. Want some pizza slice, meatloaf hunk, chicken salad soup?"

Kitty Business man, In Out boxes.