Comedy Jugglers Pillows

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Children's Parties

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Bed Spread"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

One-man band rehearsal.

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

"Honey! We're home!"

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

Mystery and suspense at the library.

"The Chairman will be on shortly, I'm just the warm-up guy."

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

How's the writer's block?

Tall tales and Short stories

Fiction/Non Fiction/A Toss Up.

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"I can't hear you but the banana can."

'The artist inside me struggling to get out is starting to take over my classroom!'

How to Make Money On-Lion

'It IS the first time most of them have asked us to 'accidentally' leave all their personal details attached to their feedback!'

Argh, now his screen is big! Isn't there a button that puts all my ducks in a row?

The Battle Between Television and Books

'Can't talk now! I'll call you back.'

Creative Lawyers: Our Rates - Justice $300 per hour/Appearance of Justice $1000 per hour.