Comedy In Sports Lover Gifts

Baseball players

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Alternative fielding positions

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Golf escape.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."