Comedy Criminal Chaser Pillows

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Clown Skis.

'The sty is falling!!'

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Letter writing lady.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Hollywood or bust!

Tango

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

'Something that'll get me googled,'

As Seen On TV

The Daily Fury

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Signing cage.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'