Comedy Cat Aficionado Pillows

Cat soap operas

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Projectile hairballing."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

Cat Zoom Meeting

Hell No Kitty

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

'I'll have the steak and she'll have the tuna.'

"Okay, who's purring?"

"Cat with nine still lives"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Little be it for me to question the security of our relationship, but isn't that a puppy?"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."

'Cats. They want in, they go over the numbers, they want out.'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

Zen Litter Box

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

"I tell you, the book has everything- sex, history, consciousness, and cats!"

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

"I never heard her say she was leaving you in charge."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"