Comedy Cat Aficionado Pillows

Cat soap operas

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'Oh no! That's not litter! It's quicksand!!'

'I'll have the steak and she'll have the tuna.'

'You caught 'em. You clean 'em.'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

"Okay, who's purring?"

"Cat with nine still lives"

Cat Lover's Leap.

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Cats. They want in, they go over the numbers, they want out.'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'According to the latest data, our social media post rankings are staying fairly consistent with consumers, hovering just below cat shaming memes.'

Zen Litter Box

"Keep your guard up. We're entering big-cat country."

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

"I tell you, the book has everything- sex, history, consciousness, and cats!"

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

'Do you know what an octopus is?'

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

"I never heard her say she was leaving you in charge."

'And it was at this point when he switched from mouse-based, desktop computers to trackpad laptops.'