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'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Milkin' Impossible

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Zombie scout issues

'So I finally got cable.'

'I'm here to read the meter.'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

The Wrath of the Godfather of Ventriloquism

How Am I Scaring?

Coffin & Breakfast.

"I'm just doing this until I can break into accounting."

Spies surround a man at his office desk

"Junior. Drink your blood before it clots"

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Frankenstuff.

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

Dracula at Open Mic Night

BOOKSHOP, 'Are you sure you want that, sir? - You don't really look like the Tom Clancy type.'

'I hate it when you bring your work home!'

"It's not Covid-19. I caught a bad case of tired blood."

"Oh, you big silly. Did you forget to put the clock back?"

Alfred Hitchcock

"Do you think your husband is on to us?"