Comedic Personality Pillows

20 Volts for Wavy Hair, 50 Volts for Frizzy Hair, 100 Volts for Curly Hair and 500 Volts for Hair beyond description.

'I want a refund! It refuses to go into my son's room!!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Been waiting long?'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Hunter with arrow pointing at him.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Now cut that out!'

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Monkey Business College

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

Jumble Sale

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Tree growing

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"