Comedic Parenting Moments Pillows

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'Don't worry, ma. It's a controlled burn.'

Father playing with baby and baby is sick on his face.

The First Test Of Parenthood

'Fetch.'

"Use your inside scream."

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Mom, I need a push.'

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

"And then it hit me—I'm sleeping with my mother."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

They Removed my Brain.

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

Meals on Heels.

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'He has so much stuff, toys and gadgets so now we punish him by sending him to our room.'

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."