Comedic Love Chaser Pillows

'Dear Dairy, Well... I met someone, and I think she could be Mrs. Alright.'

"Try thinking about something else."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Clown Skis.

Woman tries to catch a footballer.

'The sty is falling!!'

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

It was getting harder and harder to stay psyched.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I tried running in gyms, but nothing gets me motivated like running towards a love interest...."

"I worked my way up from a goddamn steamboat - I am the American Dream."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

Dreams

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

Happiness

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

"He's actually leaving a review, the ungrateful little sod!!"

A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.

"Call me a hopeless romantic, but I assumed he was just inviting me."

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

'Don't give up the day job...'

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

'You idiot, Martin, you don't need those silly glasses to get an amazing 3-D effect. . . this is a PLAY!'

'I was warned about online dating.'

"Fabulous! Marvellous! The kind of job that only comes along once in a lifetime!"

The Manifestation of Dreams

"Let's run away and make a new life for ourselves filled with completely different problems."

"In five years I see myself sitting on the shoulder of a successful pirate captain."

Men watching TV, shouting close him down.