Comedic Joke Lovers Pillows

"Rising fuel costs have forced us to make major design changes. Like the in-dash ATM, in case you run out of gas money."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Stairlift around cliff face.

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

The First Fire Stick

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Divine Desk Bins

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

Standard & Poor

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

Yakety-Yak

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'