Comedic Joke Lovers Gifts

"Rising fuel costs have forced us to make major design changes. Like the in-dash ATM, in case you run out of gas money."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"That'll be five bucks."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

The First Fire Stick

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Divine Desk Bins

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

Standard & Poor

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Don't go in there!!"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Yakety-Yak