Comedic Horse Racing Enthusiast Gifts

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Gentlemen Riders

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

First past the post.

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'I win!'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Horse racing puns

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

Stubborn Horses

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'It's a hybrid.'

Horse Clean-up

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.