Comedic Horse Racing Enthusiast Gifts

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Gentlemen Riders

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

First past the post.

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'I win!'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Horse racing puns

Stubborn Horses

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'It's a hybrid.'

Horse Clean-up

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Remounts for the Yeomanry