Comedic Genius Pillows

'I thought we were going to play doctor.' 'We are playing doctor! I'm a lawyer and I'm suing you for malpractice.'

Fake Near-death Kit.

"I want to be put on lifestyle support."

"This next song's about pain."

'We were told to multi-task so I was attending class while sleeping.'

Are you the technician's assistant responsible for this X-ray?'

Problem solving centre.

Squashed on the road.

Never forgets/Sometimes forgets/always forgets.

'Honestly, how do you expect me to workout when I've yet to compile a 'Top 10 Workout Songs' list?'

"My time as a CEO? Oh, I just made that part up to get your attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Let's hope he doesn't turn out to be one of those mystery shoppers.'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'Let's call him lucky!'

'We annoy them, but no one can say we bore them.'

"Well, I'm not the one who taught him how to use the electric can opener!"

Dad is in the naughty corner.

Maybe it was a mistake to give up jogging for blogging.

"I've lost 10 pounds thanks to global warming!"

'Yeah, I know this is a BYOB party.'

'Come here often?'

Earl wins first prize, for the most original costume.

First Person

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"I'll explain later."

"Mr. Jingles thinks they sell it on eBay."

"Wait -- you mean to say your NAME is Rich?"

"I've decided to have a kid."

"My identity has been stolen!"

Unaware of the resident's identity, Chet and Willy's prank backfires,

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

"I'm sorry, you've just missed him."

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'