Comedic Forager Gifts

"Okay, so we're hunter gatherers. But must you keep singing, 'Here we go gathering nuts in May'?!"

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

'Do you want toast with that?'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Lambo

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

'All you can eat, burgers.'

'SHOP!!!'

Shooting in Ireland

Maps to the Stars

"I have to go wee-wee."

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

'Not much game about today,boy!'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

"Wrong hole!"

The Wet Fly Fisherman: And spends a good deal of time in the water

No 2 Hook

'This looks like a deer feeding area.'

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

'Luckily, my iPod contains a set of 10 songs I'd like to listen to if I were stranded on an island.'