Comedic Forager Gifts

"Okay, so we're hunter gatherers. But must you keep singing, 'Here we go gathering nuts in May'?!"

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Do you want toast with that?'

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

Lambo

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

'Calm down. I heard them say we're just going into town for haircuts.'

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Lost, what are you talking about? I'm not lost!"

Right, just off to the east field to muck spread!

"I have to go wee-wee."

'SHOP!!!'

Shooting in Ireland

'Not much game about today,boy!'

Maps to the Stars

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

No 2 Hook

'This looks like a deer feeding area.'

"Wrong hole!"

'No, not that Bill Gates.'

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

The Wet Fly Fisherman: And spends a good deal of time in the water

When your trainer said stretching is a key component of your new fitness program, she wasn't talking about your stomach!