Comedic Flair Lover Pillows

'NONE SHALL PASS! Except that little splash...that doesn't really count!'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Eskimo in Igloo

Lone traveller is befriended by tourist from hell.

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'