Comedic Fashion Lover Prints

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'I like a man in a suit.'

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'Could you give me bigger tits?'

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'You heard the man, Harold. It's a formal cruise--go back to the room and put on your black flip-flops.'

'Early Toupees'.

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

Centurion with an empty plate.

'He can do 'roll over' and 'beg,' but he does 'sit' best.'

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

'But we agreed on terracotta- you liked terracotta! I am not sending them back!'

'That's not what I had in mind when I asked for some encouragement!'

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."

TV Bookends

'NONE SHALL PASS! Except that little splash...that doesn't really count!'

Hammering Away

'I'm sorry, sir, but be have specific instructions from your wife not to sell you a speedo.'

"Electric shorts."

Body Wash/Hog Wash.

'Do you have this in a shoe?'

Artist overlooks naked model for a bowl of apples.

Shampoo for Normal Hair, Oily Hair, Dry Hair, Hair that is Beyond Description.

'No, I do not like your new outfit!'