Comedic Crisis Junkie T-Shirts

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

"I shouldn't worry if I were you. You have a habit of landing on your feet..!"

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"Someone has stolen my identity crisis."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'Just hold on! Screaming never solved anything.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

In case of fake news about a phony emergency ring false alarm.

How will this impact me?

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"That's a relief - I thought you said crisis meeting..."

Jetsgo out of business.

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"I always put things off until the last minute."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

2020 Panic Room

"I suppose one of us should call somebody."

'...I really wish you would of told me you wanted to be a ballerina before we got married.'

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'