Comedic Chaos Gifts

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'

"What clown has blocked the entrance outside."

Racing road signs

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

"Mom! My laundry is ready!"

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.

"Worst opening act ever. Did you know what a vuvuzela is?" "What?"

Man with a nail in his hammer

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

'Nice catch, idiot!'

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

'Hooboy, here they come. Now's my chance for a double! 1...2...'

"I warned you not to do Jeff Koons."

'I guess there was a typo on the job order. It was supposed to read 'mow the lawn, not plow the lawn.''

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

'Fortunately, the only person hit was a snowman. . .'

'Do you have an appointment, sir?'

Just back from vacation and pretty rusty, Mel's first sales pitch of the day goes wide and beans his #1 customer.

Damn Seagulls