Comedic Chaos Enthusiasts Gifts

Just back from vacation and pretty rusty, Mel's first sales pitch of the day goes wide and beans his #1 customer.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'

Eskimo in Igloo

"Mom! My laundry is ready!"

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.