Comedic Chaos Enthusiasts Gifts

Just back from vacation and pretty rusty, Mel's first sales pitch of the day goes wide and beans his #1 customer.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

"One day, son, all this will be....Never mind."

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

Car with upright Christmas tree.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'

Eskimo in Igloo

'The fans are getting impatient. ... Let's give him another minute. If he doesn't come to by then, we'll the brawl without him.'

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

Racing road signs

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."