Comedic Cash Withdrawal Pillows

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

Jumble Sale

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"I guess I'll never understand women."

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

Flying Ear Specialist

Rollercoaster police chase.

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

"Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"This internship is humiliating."

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.

Searching for condom.

With more and more graduates defaulting on college loans, many loan companies have hired undercover hecklers!

"Anesthesia? We'd prefer not to risk adding to the drug epidemic, so just bite down on this stick."

Model's aspirations

'...You are on a waiting list to be ill.'

"I posted dozens of cat pictures on social media to meet women. Then one dated me and ran off with my cat."

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

"Don't leave! We haven't tried marriage yet!"

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

"Will you accept my master's card?"

'I want just enough work done so I'll qualify for Handicapped Parking.'