Comedian In Disguise T-Shirts

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Sleep clinic night watchman.

'Damn hippie.'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

Joe's Weight Gain: '...I don't need to drink beer to enjoy the company and witty banter with my big brother.'

No Soliciting

"Oh, and one last item, Ernie: The periodic burst of high-pitched, maniacal laughter... is that new?"

And what will it be today? The mask of comedy or tragedy?

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Trump pardons

'Your French dip, sir.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'The circle is complete!'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)