Occult Comedian T-Shirts

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Houston, we have a problem."

Physician tending a mummy.

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Optimist

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Science fiction fans on other planets

The Origins of Everything

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Shoot For The Moon

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

The Older Testament: An Origin Story