Comeback King Pillows

"Son, if you can't say something nice, say something clever but devastating."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

King vs King- who's the clown?

'You're the type of young guy we're looking for - aggressive, willing to take chances, able to bounce back...how'd you like to go into banking?'

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

A lesson in wit

How Gary got his groove back.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

The Fountain of Youth.

'Reinventing myself.'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"Are you sure you're ready to get back on the ice?"