Comeback King Pillows

"Son, if you can't say something nice, say something clever but devastating."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

King vs King- who's the clown?

'You're the type of young guy we're looking for - aggressive, willing to take chances, able to bounce back...how'd you like to go into banking?'

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

How Gary got his groove back.

A lesson in wit

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

The Fountain of Youth.

Dr. Miller like to show off his ability to remove a full set of braces in one quick, bare-handed, jolt.

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

TV Zoo Trivia

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'Reinventing myself.'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'