Come Back King Pillows

'His fifth comeback to the ring...and only his first fight!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

TV-Man

Freddie Mercury

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Karaoke night.

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

The Royal Wii

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Robbie Williams

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'