Combover Critic T-Shirts

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

No Elgar!

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"My computer just texted me."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"My kid could do that."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

"Hey! This is news."

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

Men and Women's changing rooms

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

"They call this a semi-private room?"

Isolated fits of enthusiasm erupt at the annual I don't know I just work here convention.

Judgeasaurus

Trump dries his hair with hot air

Comb over club.

"What they hell are we looking at."

Hair loss comb.

Copenhagen Three Degrees.