Columbus Day Gifts

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

The Private Doubts of Christopher Columbus.

"Dude! I am so not prepared for this!"

1492 - 'Discovery'

"Oh, Yeah...that's right...you discovered America!"

Discovering of America

"We have decided to finance your voyage, Mr. Columbus, even though we are disappointed that you failed to produce your high-school transcripts."

'I'm serious. I really believe the world is round.'

"For the glory of God Almighty, and in the names of the munificent King and munificent Queen of Spain, I do on a day—either a Friday preceding or a Monday directly following a weekend that is earlyish in but toward the middle of October—in this year of our Lord, 1492, claim this land."

"Just think. . . one day they'll name national holidays for the both of us!"

Christopher Columbus

The first Columbus Day celebration, featuring Columbus himself....

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"Of course I discovered America... My marketing team said so."

"Tia Carmen, do you remember when Columbus discovered America?"

Rape of the Americas Day Sale!

America and October 12

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."