Color Connoisseur T-Shirts

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"Henry, we like the 'any colour as long as it's black,' idea but we just want to ask...is it the RIGHT black?"

We're kicking you out of the minimalist club.

'See, honey? My teeth aren't yellow, they're 'Eloquent Ivory.''

Gary Brown Self Portrait

"Vlad realized, right there and then, that he should have bought the buff-white or even the oatmeal-colored sheets."

"Have you got it in beige?"

"Are you colour-blind? Pea-green, I said, not monochrome!"

'Now that's finished let's go and paint the town green!'

'Apparently he only uses fugitive colours.'

I have three tubes of acrylic, royal blue, sovereign gold and regal red.

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

bird interprets modern art

Lady deciding on the colour for a new dress

Old woman in fabric shop

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"I don't know how to tell you this, but . . . a wallpaper company is interested."

Landscape Artists

The Art Student.

Butterfly Woman

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Yes, can I help you?'