Color Aficionado T-Shirts

'Be honest now. Does this color make me look fat?'

"These are my true colors and I don't care who know it!"

Colourful Birds

'All we've got in at the moment is Lincoln Green.'

'How do spell paint?'

"Some of my best friends are black, green, mustard, lavender, orange, blue, and pink."

Blondes have more fun

Pea green

Painting and Decorating

"It's called yellow on blue."

"I was looking forward to his midlife crisis and him buying a convertible, but no, he's taken up painting instead..."

The Art Student.

Butterfly Woman

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

(Camel paintings)

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

Distractions Of The Great

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."