Colonial History Buffs Pillows

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'Are we there yet?'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

Colonial Larrysburg.

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Thomas Keneally

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Quick, follow that star

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Uncle Sam and health care.

William Bentinck

"How could this happen?"

William Wordsworth

"Ol' Boy... where the devil is Behan?"

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

U.S. Presidential Monuments.

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

Rudyard Kipling

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

Stay the Course.

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

Creationists now agree with the scientific theory that the ginosaurs were probably wiped out by the impact of a large asteroid.

'No, make the dominant race out of placental mammals — marsupials would lead to all kind of abortion controversies.'

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

"It's my first novel."

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'

'What do you mean you're going into labor, dear? It's only Saturday. Can't you wait 'til Monday?'