Colonial History Buffs Gifts

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'Are we there yet?'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

Colonial Larrysburg.

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Thomas Keneally

In my day, they didn

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Quick, follow that star

Uncle Sam and health care.

Censorship | Not Censorship

"How could this happen?"

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

U.S. Presidential Monuments.

Rudyard Kipling

"Ol' Boy... where the devil is Behan?"

Stay the Course.

William Wordsworth

William Bentinck

"When in the course of human events it becomes... Oh, blast it! Adams is just going to edit the heck out of this..."

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"This area has a long and rich history. First, the Indians lived here, then it was a plantation with slaves, then poor people lived here, and now it's a magnificent condo complex."

"One day son, all this will be going with me."

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

Creationists now agree with the scientific theory that the ginosaurs were probably wiped out by the impact of a large asteroid.

Ye Olde Inn, Fine Food & Spirits.

'No, make the dominant race out of placental mammals — marsupials would lead to all kind of abortion controversies.'

"It's my first novel."

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'