Colognes Gifts

"This one might suit you. It's called Oldie But Goodie."

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Paul goes home for the holidays

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"These references are excellent Mr. Canning. But do you have any from someone other than your mother?"

"I'm only flesh and blood. And, of course, collagen."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

'Dog got your clog?'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

'I think you'll find you can't tiptoe wearing clogs!'

New Blah Cologne for Dull Men.

Surgeon

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

Signs that colas are making you fat. . .

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

Luca Barocco's Cannoli Sectional

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

Santa's Helpers

Santa Claus aided down chimney by Elves.

Young Love/Elderly love.

Loggers Destroy Industry.

Free Pool

'Can you call back? He's busy right now.'

This is not the type of post office I'm looking for.

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"You must contact everyone who's ever been on your naughty/nice list."