Colloquialism Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Do you think the poem will lose some of its gravitas if I use the term 'brown bread'?'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

Witch's spell check.

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"