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Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

"They're home...the party's over!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

JET (Part I)

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Corporate Darwinism

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

Scouse For Beginners

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Proof Reading

Spellng Bee

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'