College Warrior Pillows

"Sometimes I forget you're a Republican."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Examiners.

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Ted doesn't test well."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Final Exams Tip

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'