College Warrior T-Shirts

"Sometimes I forget you're a Republican."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Examiners.

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Ted doesn't test well."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

Information Macht Frei

Final Exams Tip

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

Truth In Education

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"