Higher Education Warrior T-Shirts

"Why can't you give me a student loan? I'm a student."

"Personally, I prefer seeing the graduates dance across the stage."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"Ted doesn't test well."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Examiners.

Studying and technology

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

Truth In Education

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."