College Scholarship Pillows

"I gotta know if I'm gonna pass the big history test tomorrow! I can't remember who fought in the industiral revolution, and my scholarship depends on it!"

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"One year closer to college!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Bribes for Jabs

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'