College Savior Pillows

"Son, due to the economy, I have to ask you to contribute more to your college fund."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

S.O.S. vaccine

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

"My parents didn't write it--they just tweaked it."

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

Publish and Be Damned

Vaccine

"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

Tired of constantly sending her money, Jill's parents installed an ATM in her dorm room.

Superhero Rescues Books.

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

How to save the Planet...

'You waved a white flag?2

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

"There's some question as to how long we're going to be able to keep the lights on."

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

"As an additional torment, our fire and brimstone are fuelled by coal."

"I figure that by the time I’m 62, I’ll have no student-loan debt, then, who knows – maybe start a family."

Actually, College Tuition Does Pay

"You want to borrow 1.2 million dollars to meet your school district's budget?"

Coathooks.

Prisoner of pollution.

"I'm desperate to hold on to our good teachers."

Is my old room ready? It will be nice to take a few years off and rest up!'

Biden tapes together the Paris Climate Agreement.

'Rough day Principal Harris?'

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'