College Goer Prints

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"One year closer to college!"

"My homework ate my dog."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Santa does a keg stand.

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

Fishbowl rebellion.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Trust

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'