College Finance Ponderer Gifts

"I just wanted to thank you. Treating you for what you've got's going to put my kids through college."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"If all countries are in debt, who's got all the money?"

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'Fellas, I swear I'll get you the money! Remember the money was for my kid's education.'

"That's the parents' section."

Banking

'And remember - happiness can't buy you money.'

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

"Can you spare some Cafe Latte for a has been?"

'Hey! -- When did you put Lady Godiva off-budget?'

The kids are going back for another semester.

'I miss the disposable income days.'

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

Why College Costs So Much 101.

"Financially, you're in the top third but you're in the bottom third of that third. You are, however, in the top third of that bottom third?"

'Into each life, a certain amount of analytical incongruity must fall.'

"You don't qualify for a personal loan. I'd offer you some personal advice but you don't qualify for that either."

'OK, blueberries and omega-3 are good for me, but right now I'm having doubts about capitalism.'

I wish you'd come to me sooner. I don't know if you're going to have enough time to save for all five million of your children's college funds.

'How much do you think we'd be worth if we lost all our money?'

'Your ad here.'

Student Loan Interest Rates.

'I'm planning to outsource my class load next year. I'm thinking India for paper correction.'

'My wife has increased the retirement age to 75...'

As the Fleegersons approached the college's financial aid office, a strange force overcame Dan's wallet and Carol's handbag,

'I came to university to get an education and all I've acquired is debt.'

'We're celebrating because our son DIDN'T get into the $50,000 private college but DID get into the $4,000 state university!'

"Money won't make you happy."

"Having looked at your forecast the best advice I can give you is to die a little earlier!"