College Finance Buff Gifts

"That's the parents' section."

The day the stock market went UP.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

The Shrinking Dollar.

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.