College Costs Pillows

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

'Well Mimi, what's it going to be...medicine or the cello?'

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'He's going to college, but he doesn't have an exit strategy.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"Of course I'm not quitting school, Dad! If anything, I've learned that if you want to succeed, you need passion and leadership and a whatever-it-takes attitude!"

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."