College Completion Gifts

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

A credit to his species...

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Good Luck in your Exams.

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

National Academy of Sport

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

End of Affirmative Action